- Ugh!
(classical music)
- I wash my hands after I do anything.
- My girlfriends have gotten mad at me because
I like, refuse to share a water bottle with them.
- I really hate seeing gum.
- I don't like people to sit on my bed
with their street clothes.
- I won't eat anything if it's even close
to the expiration date.
- You know, you wash your hands,
you grab the paper towel,
and then you grab the doorknob with the paper towel,
and then you leave,
and then you throw it.
- She's freshly bathed and she feels grimy to me.
Ugh God, her breath is like...
- If this one is peeing,
she tries to walk under to get peed on.
- She was rolling around a dead bird,
it was like, a dead bird carcass.
- I got pretty lucky with Vicious,
because he's not a slobbery guy at all.
- Poop grosses me out more than anything,
and he eats poop like, all the time.
- She licks her parts,
and she puts her nose in other dogs' butts,
so I think it's kind of reasonable
to not want that on my face.
- It's going to be pretty gross.
- Every old dog deserves to be kissed, you know?
(classical music)
- Marcie!
(kissing)
Marcie!
- Give me a kiss.
Nope.
(kissing)
(groans)
- Oh god. Oh god.
- Monkey!
- Ugh!
(classical music)
- Eugh!
- Yeah, you just did that.
- That was, a completely grotesque experience.
- That was pretty foul.
- What was going through my head
while this was happening was um,
that I know she goes to the cat litter box
and pulls little turds out,
and then I'm just like,
Why did you do this to me.
- I wish that he would just have grazed my lips,
but I could feel him just try to
insert his tongue into my mouth,
and that made it worse.
- I mean, it was a lot of tongue.
And she sheds a lot too,
so now there's dog hair
all over my face.
- It's kind of sweet,
getting that kind of love from an animal.
- Giving pleasure is a certain kind of pleasure
and I if did that for Monkey,
then, I did good today.
- High five.
Yeah!
- Maybe once a year if you're good,
we'll have a make-out session.
- I gave Mucca a treat,
and she spit it out and didn't want it,
so she peed on it.
This one came up without missing a beat and ate it.
They're just monsters.