Beefy-Weefy is the czar of all he sees. In order to get to his magic kingdom, you have to travel there accidentally while sleeping. When you wake up, you are given a complementary gun, bag of dry oatmeal, and half a can of regret. You can't leave Beefy-Weefy's magic kingdom until you can give Beefy-Weefy's grandmother a ride to the store. This is impossible however, as his grandmother is in fact an ogre, and will eat you and save a princess from a dragon with the help of a mule that wants to let you know, he's in the place, and on the case.

Also there's a guy with a hotdog grafted to his skull that will probably kill you if you haven't done that to yourself already... which you can't. Bullets are made of bad Tumblr posts here.