Ok, we've seen all the cartoons that we know of.
One being Japanese and the rest being American,
and there was a live action sitcom which I found to be kinda good.
Now because I'm covering the whole franchise
we're gonna have a look at the live action Super Mario Brothers Movie.
And this movie
is in widescreen.
Released in 1993 by Hollywood Pictures
the movie starts off with a history lesson about dinosaurs.
A long, long time ago the Earth was rules by dinosaurs.
They were big
so not a lot of people running around hassling them.
Actually, no people went around hassling them
because there weren't any people yet.
Just the first-time mammals.
Basically,
life was good.
You know,
it just don't get no better than this...
Yeah...
Then something happened.
A giant meteorite struck the Earth!
Good bye dinosaurs!
But what if all the dinosaurs weren't all destroyed?
What if the impact of that meteorite
created a parallel dimension
where the dinosaurs continued the thrive
and evolve into intelligent, vicious, aggressive beings?
Just like us.
And hey,
what if they found a way back?
Oh, is that their explanation for the 2 worlds?
Not the worst I've heard...
Present day, we are introduced to the Mario Brothers' Plumbing Service.
They are a private company
and are pretty broke.
As many small private companies go.
Mario's a realist while Luigi likes the supernatural,
like parallel dimensions.
Then there is a construction being held up
because dinosaur bones have been discovered.
As you know, preserving history is more important than building the future.
For you can't build a future without knowing your past.
But the head of the construction doesn't care
and threatens the head of the dig site, named Daisy.
She runs off to find a pay-phone to call the University,
and by a coincidence, the closest one is occupied by Luigi.
And Luigi just so happens to fall in love
offering the phone and the little change they have.
After her call,
she gets talking with the brothers
who offer her a ride back.
And Luigi goes ahead and asks her to dinner.
At this double date dinner
they discuss the dig site.
Turns out that that site
could very well be ground zero
of the meteorite that destroyed all the dinosaurs.
Also, we get to hear that Daisy's adopted.
That rock around her neck is all she was left with.
We know from the beginning that she isn't actually human.
She was left at a church as an egg
and hatched not long after.
And turns out Luigi never knew his parents.
His brother Mario has been taking care of him.
After dinner, the Marios go their separate ways with their dates.
Luigi and Daisy decide to head over to the dig site,
because Luigi is fascinated by this stuff.
These are all strange new species.
Look at this one:
the way the bones fit here and the opposable thumb,
it's almost as if
it was a monster trying to be a human being.
Just then, saboteurs pull some plumbing
and they race to get Mario for help.
We need your help!
Scapelli.
Yeah.
Strap your belt on, kid.
We're going in.
You'd think Mario had a personal grudge against him.
While the brothers fix the leak,
a pair of goons come sneaking in to kidnap Daisy.
The brothers, though mostly Luigi,
chase after her
and find her shifting through dimensions.
Luigi!
Daisy!
Get off of me!
Now that looks familiar from somewhere.
Luigi decides on a leap of faith,
and Mario, being the realist,
is unsure if the portal will open and catch him.
A trippy trip later,
they resume the chase
and end up in a whole other city.
While the brothers explore their new surroundings,
we meet the antagonist of the franchise:
Koopa
According to his words,
he feels the meteorite has exiled his whole species
to a filthy, bacteria and fungus infested hell hole for 65 million years.
He wants to merge worlds back together
and rule in a cleaner environment.
65 million years and they haven't invented disinfectant yet?
Guess brains weren't on the top of the evolution list..
And, of course, an evil leader needs his 2 goons.
They bring the news that they have captured the correct girl this time,
but they forgot the rock.
It is this rock which will start the merging.
The plumbers took it.
Plumbers...
Plumber alert.
Back on the street, the brothers get mugged.
No, don't touch that!
And the mugger gets thrown around.
And now they go chasing after the rock.
But that doesn't last long
as they bump into the police and get arrested.
Name!
Mario.
Last name.
Mario!
Well, yeah, you don't call them the Mario Brothers
if their last name wasn't Mario.
Or, wait...
Does that mean they've been calling him by his last name all this time?
And Luigi by his first name?
What's your name?
Luigi.
Luigi Luigi?
No. Luigi Mario.
Ok, how many Marios are there between the 2 of you?
It's 3.
It's Mario Mario and Luigi Mario.
Say
what
WHAT
tahW
What
WATT
wot
Ok, they've been so creative with so many other things
but they couldn't come up with anything here?
Although, reduplicated names aren't that uncommon.
During the immigration, many who used the Arabic naming structure
don't have a family name,
and instead use their father's or grandfather's name as their last name.
And if you're named after either, or a common name,
you end up with Abraham Abraham or Edward Edwards.
While in jail, we hear the truthful ramblings of a crazed inmate.
Something about the meteorite splitting the world
and a king turned to fungus
getting his revenge by spreading himself in every nook and cranny.
Then Koopa himself decides to meet the brothers
to try and see if they got the rock.
When asking nicely fails,
he takes them to the de-evolving chamber
and demonstrates its power.
...can become
a loyal child of the royal family:
Goomba.
Don't see any resemblance...
They get into a brawl,
and send Koopa into the de-evolver.
Which was quickly interrupted.
They flee back into the police station,
narrowly escaping fireballs,
and steal a police car.
After a big car chase scene,
which would make Michael "Havoc" Bay proud,
they enter a tunnel
and fall off a cliff.
The goons then undergo a change...
In a different direction.
Do you know what the square-root of 26481 is?
What are you talking about?
191.
Perhaps if I could just make you idiots smarter
you won't screw up this time.
Although, their brains don't seem to have grown all that well.
Quickly! After them, cousin!
I'm with you, cousin!
No, forward!
In the name of King Koopa
we arrest you!
Surrender immediately!
They sure were overpowered quickly.
With some negotiations,
they come to a deal:
Daisy for the rock.
But the rock was stolen
and the goons are the only ones who know
who may have it
and where to find her.
At some point, we learn something interesting.
Princess Daisy.
What?
OK!
Daisy from the Game Boy Super Mario Land.
Peach is probably in another dimension..
While Daisy waits for her first meeting with Koopa,
she meets a little dinosaur pet.
You're a...
Go ahead and say it:
Dinosaur!
Yoshi is a pet of the royal family.
You may pet him...
Aw, poor chained Yoshi.
Meanwhile, at some club,
the brothers spot their rock thief.
And in order to get to the rock,
is to ask the carrier for a dance.
With a move, he chances a try at the rock...
And misses...
In another move, he tries again.
Any chance 3rd move's a charm?
Success!
Just then, the troops arrive.
They try to get out by tossing the rock back and forth as a distraction.
But it falls into the bad guy's hands.
The brothers decide to escape,
with the help of the thief,
leaving the rock behind.
They make their way into Koopa's palace,
and decide to turn off the heating.
They also find some outfits that would best suit them.
Meanwhile, Daisy is visited by Koopa's friend, Nina,
who has her own plans about the merging of the worlds
and attempts to kill Daisy.
This plan fails, as Yoshi's tongue trips her up,
and Daisy escapes.
She bumps into the goons
who say they've always been loyal to the King.
They take her to the throne room
and introduce her to the now fungussed king.
Daisy,
may I present to you:
your father.
The fungus.
Koopa's first victim of
de-evolution.
This is my father?
Yeah, well, few are ever prepared for family reunions.
Shortly after, the brothers meet up with Daisy
and are too introduced to the king,
and are captured again.
Out on the street, Koopa is about to kill them,
but is thwarted by a boot to the head.
During the brawl, the rock is lost to Nina,
who proceeds to activate the merging herself.
Also, Mario tries to find something he can use as a weapon.
panic noises
Bob-omb.
Don't you just love these exasperated expressions?
Bob-omb.
Plumbers.
Monkey!
Woops, a bit too far...
Well, seeing as everyone's terrified by this Bob-omb,
Mario decides to arm it.
And it falls down a hole.
Just then
The Merging!
It's melting...
We're merging.
And Scapelli becomes the first victim of the hand-held de-evolver.
But Koopa's reign doesn't last long
as the rock piece is pulled out
and everyone's returned to their rightful place.
Luigi jumps in with a pair of de-evolve guns,
and they proceed to try and de-evolve Koopa.
Meanwhile, that little Bob-omb has been on a long journey
and finally reaches its target
and blows Koopa sky-high.
And the brothers are now heroes for defeating the evil tyrant,
and the king re-evolves to his natural form.
As the brothers are about to return,
Daisy realizes her place as Princess,
and she is the only one who can control the portal.
A kiss later, they return to their world,
and she takes care of her kingdom.
3 weeks later, the Mario brothers are chilling at home, when suddenly...
Luigi! Mario!
Daisy!
You gotta to come with me, I need your help!
Why-w-wha-what's wrong?
You'll never gonna believe this.
I'll believe it.
You do?
I believe.
Yep, another one that ends on a possible continuation
that was never made.
Not too surprising seeing as it wasn't well received or sold.
As a film on its own...
Just another adventure like the rest of them...
From all of this, it seems like
it isn't possible to make a good movie or series
out of a plumber rescuing a princess.
We should just leave such crazy ideas as standalone games.
Of course, if successful enough,
there will be a series of games,
and spin-offs.
The only thing is that Mario doesn't change
because the creators don't really want to experiment.
Whereas Sonic Team doesn't really mind trying new things with Sonic.
Yeah, we all know where that has gone.
Now, if you'll excuse me I've got a convention to get to.