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[Music]

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all right

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[Music]

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God I got to poop there's a porta-potty

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there but porta-potties are for [ __ ]

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and I ain't no [ __ ]

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thank you

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[Music]

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God damn it don't these kids have any

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manners these days you cannot just go

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around parking skateboards wherever you

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want

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okay didn't that guy know I was the evil

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Doctor Robotnik

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I'm evil I'm not supposed to get tickets

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since I don't pay them anyway

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maybe I'll have my bounty hunter sleet

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and then go go kill his family or

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something later

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foreign

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that's enough [ __ ] stop hitting my

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[ __ ] Bell what do you want [ __ ]

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don't act [ __ ] around me I was here

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four months ago and one of you doctors

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said I have cancer

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oh yeah I remember now you're the one

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great all our bubble gum in the waiting

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room what do you want [ __ ]

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I don't know you're the one who told me

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to come back how do I get rid of cancer

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do you have an appointment with us

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no sleet always handles that stuff for

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me as well as make dinner and change my

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eyepiece

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okay what's your name will this go to

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the FBI I can't let them find out where

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I live again

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probably okay I'll take my chances Dr

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Robotnik the absolute Supreme Overlord

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of all that is evil

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oh my God the Doctor Robotnik that took

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over Planet Mobius you betcha well

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you're in the United States so you ain't

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got any power here so shut up and go sit

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those blunt cheeks down next to the

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kitties in the waiting room

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Hey kid do you have cancer too I notice

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you're bald under that propeller hat

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ew you're so fat

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your roundness what's wrong did Bartleby

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give you a wedgie in public for picking

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on Sonic again

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no it's worse sleet a sexy kid in a blue

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shirt he he called me fat

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what you are that's why you make us call

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you your roundness

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it sounds different when you guys say it

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what should I do I'm so embarrassed

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is that the boss Hi boss we're at Taco

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Bell

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here let us FaceTime him real quick

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who the hell are you guys you look kind

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of gay

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Hey kid you better stop picking on our

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boss before we come down there

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yeah don't make us suck your dad's balls

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that's not a threatening face shut up

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Sleek don't make me suck your balls

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hold on a sec I'm getting another call

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how's it going but Nick

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you [ __ ] how did you get my

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number again so fast I just changed it

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last week

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I have my ways damn it it was bartelby

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wasn't it that's not fair Sonic you

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cheater

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go Mr Robotnik you should know not to

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underestimate rich people if I'm being

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quite honest by the look on your face

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you don't seem to Jolly being in my

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presence

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they happen stance is it because moments

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like these remind you of the day you

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attempted to tax my family

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mom dad they're here should we beat them

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up not yet let's see what they have to

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say

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so it's true then for the first time in

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over a decade the Montclair family

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are having a family reunion since the

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births of Bartleby Montclair of Dresden

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and his inferior twin

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as the new emperor of Mobius I was

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originally going to tax you all

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individually but seeing that you're all

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here I figured we might get it on all in

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one day

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you think you

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have to make that

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different countries good luck taxing a

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Stan

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oh we'll see about that I've

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manufactured and army just for this very

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day

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one that even you could not have

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prepared for

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sleet lingo call them and call in the

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swap Bots

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[Music]

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your round mess look beyond the smoke

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oh

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[Music]

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impossible he's completely unharmed is

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he really that buff

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robot mixer we have to flee now they

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might have a [ __ ] gun

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idea go start the car

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you're not going anywhere get him boys

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run Master Robotnik don't let him get

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you

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[Applause]

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[Music]

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[Applause]

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everyone stand back I must be

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foreign

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okay okay I get it I won't tax you

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anymore

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don't be misinformed but Nick you will

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get your money just know that when tax

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day comes around we will be two up and

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poop on you and spank you until you

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relinquish your dad's today hold on our

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beloved planet

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now pull down your pants

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damn it but you pooped all over my new

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iPhone

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Mr Robotic the doctor is ready to see

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you now

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welcome sir please stand on the scale so

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we can check your weight but I'm just

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supposed to be here for a checkup on my

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cancer

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don't worry it's just part of the

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procedure and it will be between us

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[Music]

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847 pounds that can't be I only had

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eight hot dogs with cheese this morning

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oh my mistake it seems to be broken let

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me try giving it's a smack

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[Music]

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hey Devin you gotta come see this look

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how much this guy weighs

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oh I see it I got my own fatty over here

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in fact haha being a pediatrician is so

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[ __ ] funny I'm so glad I gave up

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being a lawyer for this [ __ ]

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what do you mean I'm fat I'm not fat

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Mr Robotnik we talked about this you're

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a [ __ ] fat ass

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but just because you're fat it doesn't

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mean you can't be happy

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just look at it this way you're so ugly

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that it makes other people happy because

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they can't have something to laugh at

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when they're bored

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by the Gods

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what is it duck am I going to die next

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week

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no just the opposite in fact Robotnik

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you don't have cancer

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you're just fat

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I don't have cancer but I'm bald

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apparently you can be bored and not have

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cancer

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damn I never knew that

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well Robotnik that will be all for today

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you can't head home now

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oh but do lay off the sweets

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my subordinates what are you doing here

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we just got the call from the dentist

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and heard the good news we wanted to

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surprise you

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is that mint chocolate chip ice cream

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hell yeah your favorite have yourself a

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lick

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but I'm not supposed to have ice cream

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because I'm not skinny

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now who went and told you that baloney

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all that matters is that you're happy

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and you love yourself

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come on your roundness let's go home and

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play your favorite game

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the one where we play Make Believe and

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pretend that you're still the ruler of

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Mobius

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[Music]