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[Music]

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thank you

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[Music]

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what I hate my overalls off and slap my

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bony but cheeks I don't believe what I'm

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seeing

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Jared why are you hiding get up here

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right this instant point

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foreign

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they've been laying down more tracks

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again even our neighbors aren't looking

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pissed maybe we should all work together

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on riding a very harsh letter to the

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city again

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well maybe it is time for an upgrade

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pout

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what did you say white boy

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don't you think we've been living in the

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old ways for a bit too long having a

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train station nearby will help us take

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our crops to and from town

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do I look like I need in this point I'm

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only four pounds of pure muscle I'll

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tell you what

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the old waste of our family through

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radar sleet storms our sun we're not

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about to change our ways now just

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because of the whole city Folk want to

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show off their mechanical duties

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whatever you say Dad

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let's take the picture for the family

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Christmas card I bet that will brighten

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your spirit

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Chloe that does sound nice I've been

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meaning to show off my rock hard-ups

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after farming potatoes the whole season

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foreign

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gather around

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[Music]

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hey rafik get on over here

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you want me in your Christmas card

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why not you have been working here the

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past couple of months you're practically

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part of the family well okay Jared if

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you want me to

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oh hell no I'm not going to have a

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[ __ ] muslim voice stand next to my

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family for a Christmas photo

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oh I think it's a call for help like

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he's holding this hostage with a bomb

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strap to his chest

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damn it but shouldn't say things like

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that to his face

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that's what the dinner table is for

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after he goes to sleep in the basement

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it's okay I'll just get back to tending

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to the crops I'm sure your family

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wouldn't want to see a face like mine

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anyway

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that's right get back to work you

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Islamic save before you get the hot hand

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Sarah

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but he's a terrorist do his people even

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have rights

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Jared wait shut up [ __ ] you don't get

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say in this my dad and by extension me

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only because he bought you at an Islamic

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slave trade

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come on everyone pretend you're not

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racist

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Sonic you showed up for Christmas dinner

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after all after you saw the muscle and

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get in the photo I thought you weren't

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coming

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we almost didn't but then our minds were

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filled with cranberry jelly and roasted

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turkey so we decided to run the risk

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well Sonic is that you

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it's been a while

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you've gotten quite fat

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know that about it you might need you to

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take a couple steps back

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what's the matter did I do something

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wrong

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that remains to be seen hold on one guys

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can you for a [ __ ] ball

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no bomb detected all clear

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he's clean

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ER what the hell happened to your legs

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Rafi weren't here about a sized from the

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waist down

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uh I don't remember that

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okay

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by the way Bartleby what's with those

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clothes are you going to a costume party

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no these pay no mind my winter clothes

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are simply in the wash at home and don't

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touch them this handkerchief alone is

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100 cotton and costs 27 bucks

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haha hard stop it how will I ever be

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able to hang up all these mistletoes

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with you pinch in my dirty little cow

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glass my boyfriend is watching but he

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probably likes it so you don't have to

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stop if you don't want to cry how many

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times have I told you to stop making

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moves on my girl

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there we go down three little [ __ ] back

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and you never knew anything about it

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so why would I expect today to be any

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different especially when we have

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company over as long as you live under

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my roof I'll make the rules what's mine

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is mine and what's yours is mine but

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because I am your poor I will restrain

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for now just to be nice don't expect

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this sort of gratitude anymore for the

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rest of the day better yet if you're not

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gonna be a man then be a woman and do

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what woman do best clean

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clean up your pasta

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that's awfully

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stick Jared why do you let him do like

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that if tried to touch my boyfriend's

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bum I would shoot him with a BB gun

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you heard him he's my dad this crop of

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land and anything on it belongs to him

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I'm just I'm just plain old Jed

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okay I'm going out back to poop

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[Music]

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feels so good

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this is yucky food why are there so many

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vegetables

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where's the tater tots and ketchup

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those yucky veggies were grown right

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here on my farm YouTube

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from the ground to land out the blade of

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yours

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you know because I tie my hair up in

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pigtails like this people often tell me

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I looked like hearts and make you

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no they don't why do you always say that

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when you look nothing like her

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I'm surprised you know who Hops and make

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you even is considering you're from a

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backward third world country

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George Bush was the best damn president

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America ever had but people refused to

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see that because you stole two planes

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and flew them into the World Trade

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Center killing more than four people

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you know what I am going to say it

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I'm glad that 9 11 happened

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[Applause]

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[Applause]

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machines

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dripping all over us like we don't even

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matter this is my country my land

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Paul wait where the hey are you going

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[Music]

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my [ __ ] is going to be so impressed he

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never could have guessed that I got a

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train conductor listens this morning and

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what's more I had train tracks built

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right at Opera and Chad's thumb

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also I could surprise my big chair on

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Christmas day it will be just like the

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hit animated Christmas children's movie

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The Polar Express

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oh look here comes everyone now to bask

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in marriage some success

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first stop it

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oh please bar before you hurt yourself

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shut your dang potholes before I close

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them up for you with my steaming rancid

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[ __ ] I've done running that way it's

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time for us Farm folk to Rise Up Against

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the Machine no more to be pushed around

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the revolution Starts Now

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oh my God

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who's driving that [ __ ] train

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[ __ ] I did it again

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[Music]

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I better stop this rain and go give them

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a Christmas fruit basket is an apology

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[Applause]

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oh no I forgot how muscular I am

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my pop my dad is gone manic what do I do

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come on Jared let's go finish dinner we

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can hold the funeral tomorrow

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[Laughter]

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[Applause]

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we'll be right back to Sonic Underground

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on Disney XD

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and now back to Sonic Underground on

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Disney XD

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you know I don't think I'm really all

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that hungry right now I will just go hit

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the sack early night everyone

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[ __ ] can you pass the mashed potatoes

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dank cutie pie Tootie you pass those

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data so good

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you could even be a contestant unchopped

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or perhaps you can even Beat Bobby Flay

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[Music]

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is

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more tracks again as long as you live

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under my roof I like the rules

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haha that's really sticky

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[Music]

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while I'm talking to you boy

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huh what is that you yes would it be you

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have a little thing

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you let me by Chariot I shouldn't have

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known my demise would be on your hands I

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mean that all because of you but you're

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in hell because you're racist

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you've always been jealous of me because

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my thickness that's not true oh yes it

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is you've been living in my shadow all

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your life since you were a baby you're

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not a True Farmer you don't even eat

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your own homegrown vegetables don't

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think I haven't seen you secretly

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heating up TV dinners in the microwave

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you're weak now I'm going to kill you

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with my new ghost power

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foreign

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Jared Jared you have to wake up

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you're having a nightmare Jared please

231
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open your eyes

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Rafi what the hell are you doing here

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you better not have been trying to suck

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my balls again

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what Jared I never once tried to suck

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your balls

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never mind I forgot it was my dad who

238
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tried that whatever the case you can

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leave since my dad is dead now you're

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free like Dobby the free elf

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I might be but you're obviously not what

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do you mean I lived with you all for

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half a year and at that time I saw it

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all the way that man treated you and not

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just him but your girlfriend

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Sarah too it's just not right what does

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that [ __ ] have to do with this

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Gerard Gerard are you in there my sweet

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sugar pie

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whale sharks he's not here he must be

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out back taking a big dump in the

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Outhouse haha that dumb hillbilly now

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that Paw's gone we're gonna be filthy

254
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stinking Rich I've been gold digging in

255
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this family for years and oh my hard

256
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work is finally going to pay off of

257
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course they never would have imagined

258
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that someone like me a lovely white

259
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little cowgirl would do such a thing

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emphasis on the white part

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it cannot be yo Rafi are you hearing

262
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this [ __ ]

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now all I have to do is catch Jared

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asleep so I can plunge this knife

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through his throat I'll blame it on that

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Muslim kid and the cops will have no

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choice but to believe me because I am

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just a sweet delicate farm girl

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Jared you have to break up with her

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but she won't suck my balls anymore

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Jared she won't suck your balls anymore

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if you're dead

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foreign

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Jed it's time to begin would you like me

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to go first

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that's fine I can do it

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we come together today in honor of a man

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but not just any man

279
00:14:12,659 --> 00:14:18,480
this man was my very own Daddy

280
00:14:15,839 --> 00:14:21,300
but you were taken from us too soon you

281
00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:23,639
were just 103 years old and yet yours

282
00:14:21,299 --> 00:14:25,559
was a [ __ ] dump truck

283
00:14:23,639 --> 00:14:28,139
I remember the times you would sit back

284
00:14:25,559 --> 00:14:30,539
on your lawn chair watching me Farm

285
00:14:28,139 --> 00:14:33,120
crops as you go down lemonade

286
00:14:30,539 --> 00:14:35,819
like it was your own [ __ ] piss

287
00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:37,620
at least I think that was lemonade we

288
00:14:35,820 --> 00:14:40,440
don't exactly have lemon trees on this

289
00:14:37,620 --> 00:14:42,120
farm so I have my doubts anyhow I hope

290
00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:44,519
that as he continues to look up at us

291
00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:45,539
from hell he can see that he was not in

292
00:14:44,519 --> 00:14:47,459
loved

293
00:14:45,539 --> 00:14:49,740
and that we will continue to carry his

294
00:14:47,458 --> 00:14:52,018
memory while you will be remembered for

295
00:14:49,740 --> 00:14:53,339
all eternity as a father but more

296
00:14:52,019 --> 00:14:56,060
importantly

297
00:14:53,339 --> 00:14:56,060
farmer

298
00:15:00,559 --> 00:15:05,518
yo did anyone else catch that this kid's

299
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:08,159
dad drinks piss

300
00:15:05,519 --> 00:15:10,019
now I would like to pass the microphone

301
00:15:08,159 --> 00:15:12,559
off to my boss slave that he got for

302
00:15:10,019 --> 00:15:12,560
thirty dollars

303
00:15:14,940 --> 00:15:19,860
over in my country we have a saying it's

304
00:15:17,639 --> 00:15:22,019
better to be alive than to be dead so

305
00:15:19,860 --> 00:15:25,579
please sit back and enjoy as I sing you

306
00:15:22,019 --> 00:15:25,578
the song of my people in prayer

307
00:15:26,429 --> 00:15:36,679
[Music]

308
00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:36,680
this man is a terrorist

309
00:15:38,299 --> 00:15:43,849
is he trying to indoctrinate us

310
00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:49,149
I'm scared

311
00:15:43,850 --> 00:15:49,149
[Music]

312
00:15:51,958 --> 00:15:56,578
let's cut to the chase we're lonely yeah

313
00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:58,920
because an old man made a big goopsy

314
00:15:56,578 --> 00:16:01,439
Daisy and fell under my rain that was

315
00:15:58,919 --> 00:16:04,740
moving at 120 miles per hour

316
00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:07,260
now I'm not blaming him mind you all I'm

317
00:16:04,740 --> 00:16:09,419
saying is come on now he's not the only

318
00:16:07,259 --> 00:16:11,278
one who had rough week do you wanna be

319
00:16:09,419 --> 00:16:13,860
sitting out here on Christmas day in 30

320
00:16:11,278 --> 00:16:16,198
degree weather I don't think you do I

321
00:16:13,860 --> 00:16:17,879
have a better idea instead of wasting

322
00:16:16,198 --> 00:16:20,219
time on someone who's dead as [ __ ]

323
00:16:17,879 --> 00:16:22,078
instead why don't we send some of these

324
00:16:20,220 --> 00:16:24,000
prayers and good thoughts to I don't

325
00:16:22,078 --> 00:16:25,679
know the guy who has the buff out all

326
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:28,320
the scratches that were made in that

327
00:16:25,679 --> 00:16:30,599
rain that Chad's father damaged like a

328
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:32,100
fool and the blood stains they're going

329
00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:34,800
to have to be completely painted over

330
00:16:32,100 --> 00:16:36,300
with a fresh new coat of paint caused

331
00:16:34,799 --> 00:16:39,299
that [ __ ] ain't cheap

332
00:16:36,299 --> 00:16:39,299
foreign

333
00:16:39,740 --> 00:16:45,060
for that wonderful speech

334
00:16:42,659 --> 00:16:47,219
I don't know what to do if I tell

335
00:16:45,059 --> 00:16:50,099
everyone Siri is evil she might never

336
00:16:47,220 --> 00:16:51,778
suck my balls again but if I don't she

337
00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:52,920
will try and kill me when I go to sleep

338
00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:56,039
tonight

339
00:16:52,919 --> 00:16:59,599
I already lost my father do I really

340
00:16:56,039 --> 00:16:59,599
want to turn on the woman I love

341
00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:07,199
Jared um I've decided I won't say

342
00:17:04,859 --> 00:17:08,279
anything if you won't but what does your

343
00:17:07,199 --> 00:17:10,919
heart say

344
00:17:08,279 --> 00:17:12,838
then it was one big misunderstanding

345
00:17:10,919 --> 00:17:14,280
that she walked into my room at one

346
00:17:12,838 --> 00:17:16,859
o'clock in the morning with a kitchen

347
00:17:14,279 --> 00:17:18,959
knife because she was making soap people

348
00:17:16,859 --> 00:17:22,078
don't eat soup with knives

349
00:17:18,959 --> 00:17:25,318
wait a gosh darn minute he's right how

350
00:17:22,078 --> 00:17:28,438
could I have been so stupid

351
00:17:25,318 --> 00:17:30,720
everybody Sarah is evil and tried to

352
00:17:28,439 --> 00:17:32,940
kill me

353
00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:34,919
yesterday she walked into my room to

354
00:17:32,940 --> 00:17:37,558
stab me she didn't go through with it

355
00:17:34,919 --> 00:17:39,419
because it wasn't there she thought it

356
00:17:37,558 --> 00:17:43,259
was in the Outhouse at back taking a

357
00:17:39,419 --> 00:17:44,520
crap don't listen to him he's lying to

358
00:17:43,259 --> 00:17:47,038
all of you

359
00:17:44,519 --> 00:17:49,679
you tried to kill me 14 times this past

360
00:17:47,038 --> 00:17:52,798
month I'm calling the cops

361
00:17:49,679 --> 00:17:55,980
oh pumpkin please rethink this we can

362
00:17:52,798 --> 00:17:58,918
still fix this we fix things I've done

363
00:17:55,980 --> 00:18:01,079
nothing wrong I love you gave you a nice

364
00:17:58,919 --> 00:18:02,880
place to live and even made you fresh

365
00:18:01,079 --> 00:18:05,339
popcorn when we watched Sonic

366
00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:08,419
Underground and in that time you [ __ ]

367
00:18:05,339 --> 00:18:11,579
with my paw behind my back 14

368
00:18:08,419 --> 00:18:13,679
322 times that's right at counted you

369
00:18:11,579 --> 00:18:16,139
[ __ ] it's about time you make like my

370
00:18:13,679 --> 00:18:17,850
nutsack and bounce

371
00:18:16,140 --> 00:18:20,000
all right

372
00:18:17,849 --> 00:18:22,500
[Applause]

373
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:23,710
and don't you dare come back or I'll

374
00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:28,019
drop you like a hot potato

375
00:18:23,710 --> 00:18:31,019
[Applause]

376
00:18:28,019 --> 00:18:33,418
how are you feeling you were right Rafi

377
00:18:31,019 --> 00:18:35,220
she was a total [ __ ] and not even the

378
00:18:33,419 --> 00:18:37,440
good kind like Sonic

379
00:18:35,220 --> 00:18:40,259
today is going to be hard but it's going

380
00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:42,900
to get better one day at a time

381
00:18:40,259 --> 00:18:44,460
I should have realized it sooner God I

382
00:18:42,900 --> 00:18:46,440
feel so stupid

383
00:18:44,460 --> 00:18:48,779
well you are a hillbilly

384
00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:50,700
you deserve someone who loves you just

385
00:18:48,779 --> 00:18:52,918
as much as you love them

386
00:18:50,700 --> 00:18:55,140
not some stupid girl who doesn't realize

387
00:18:52,919 --> 00:18:56,940
what she had especially one who kept

388
00:18:55,140 --> 00:18:58,799
throwing it all away for some wrinkly

389
00:18:56,940 --> 00:19:01,200
old man balls

390
00:18:58,798 --> 00:19:03,240
yes so do not carry a friend when you're

391
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:05,580
surrounded by so many friends on

392
00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:07,440
Christmas Day

393
00:19:05,579 --> 00:19:09,058
well what are we waiting for those

394
00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:10,679
presents beneath the tree won't open

395
00:19:09,058 --> 00:19:12,538
themselves

396
00:19:10,679 --> 00:19:14,000
perhaps Santa Claus left us something

397
00:19:12,538 --> 00:19:16,440
good

398
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:18,419
[Music]

399
00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:20,580
bartelby can you make us your world

400
00:19:18,419 --> 00:19:23,660
famous beefs too

401
00:19:20,579 --> 00:19:25,980
yeah can you yeah please

402
00:19:23,660 --> 00:19:27,960
it seems like you aren't giving me much

403
00:19:25,980 --> 00:19:30,779
of a choice here now are you

404
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:34,700
very well lucky for you I had a pot on

405
00:19:30,779 --> 00:19:34,700
the stove that was simmering all night

406
00:19:35,559 --> 00:20:14,399
[Music]

407
00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:14,400
foreign

408
00:20:16,809 --> 00:20:47,269
[Music]

409
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:51,000
foreign

410
00:20:51,670 --> 00:21:08,829
[Music]

411
00:21:13,140 --> 00:21:15,799
foreign

412
00:21:17,789 --> 00:21:35,649
[Music]

413
00:21:36,170 --> 00:21:50,249
[Applause]

414
00:21:37,710 --> 00:21:50,249
[Music]