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oh why hello

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we didn't see you coming you showed up

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just in time

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i was just getting ready to share a

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spooky tale from my story collection

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Knuckles always tells the best scary

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stories

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hey how about you come and listen but

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only a few got balls of steel

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we don't need any babies around here yes

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what are you waiting for then [ __ ] pull

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up a seat and get comfy

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yes

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our story takes place in 1976.

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a group of archaeologists are on their

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way to an expedition in ancient egypt

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excited to dig a preluxe of the past

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that were lost to the sands of time

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one such archaeologist on this trip was

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Knuckles the Echidna

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he's a veteran in this field and dug up

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at least 20 hidden tombs

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but he doesn't want any of that no he

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has only one goal in mind this time

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one that will make him rich as [ __ ] if

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he succeeds

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his dream is to find a mummy so that he

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can sell it on ebay for a million

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dollars

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but finding a mummy is really hard even

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for the best of the best

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Knuckles however was ready he brought

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his favorite pickaxe

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with him on his trip and was ready for

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the challenges ahead

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or so he thought when the jeep came to a

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stop

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Knuckles climbed out and looked over the

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sandy morning horizon

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the air was cool and the sun was just

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coming over the dunes

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it was beautiful it won't stay like this

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for long

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Knuckles said the desert is hot as they

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[ __ ]

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all of the archeologists knew they would

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have to work fast before it gets too hot

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they met up with the other expedition

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team one of them was Knuckles friend

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mammoth the Hedgehog he also wanted to

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find a mummy

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but that can wait for now because for

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now they need to dig

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outside you see going inside the

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pyramids of egypt are illegal without

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permission

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so Knuckles and mammoth knew they would

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have to sneak inside when nobody else

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could see them

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in the cover of night hey Manic ask

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Knuckles

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what do you want can't you see I'm

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working my butt off over here

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Manic replied and indeed he was

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Manic was working very very hard so hard

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that an ocean of sweat was building

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inside of his butt crack

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you could even say it was quite possibly

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the largest body of water currently

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within this oasis of dry sand

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the sun is setting when night falls we

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put our plant into action the green man

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smiled at this

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he was so excited to go look for a mummy

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all of the archaeologists started

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putting up their tents to go to Sleet

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but not Knuckles and Manic

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they had their own idea of fun Manic

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pulled some torches that he was hitting

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between his butt crack

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they tried to light them on fire but

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Manic's sweat made them to damp

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so they threw them aside and picked up

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different sticks off the floor

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and littles instead now they can see

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where they're going as they happily go

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into one of the pyramids

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it wasn't long before they came across

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something mysterious

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it looked to be made of the finest gold

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in the land could it be

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could this be what they were searching

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for it was without a doubt in their

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minds

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a sarcophagus Manic gave Knuckles a good

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heart smack on the ass

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we did that Knuckles Manic said with

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this we will become one of the richest

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people on the planet

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Manic took a step forward trembling with

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excitement to see their haul up close

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he grabbed the lid of the sarcophagus

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and gave it a yank

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he was not prepared for what he saw next

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it was a mummy all wrapped up in

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bandages

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but the bandages barely covered anything

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at all

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of course this was all the better for

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Manic this money had big boobies

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and a big buttt so Manic slapped that ass

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like there was no tomorrow

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but when he tried to grab her boobies

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the mummy reached out and grabbed him

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instead

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Knuckles this mummy is going to kill me

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you have to do something

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anything they both realized now this was

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no ordinary mummy

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this was the big boob [ __ ] the most

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famous queen of egypt

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it is said that she [ __ ] over a

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million people each day

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under her rule of course this was only a

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rumor

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but neither mana cornicles wanted to

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stay to find out

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with the war cry Knuckles threw his door

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chat the monster

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let my friend go use lut he cried out in

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anger and then fear

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it worked for only a second the mummy

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bandage is caught on fire

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but because she was wearing barely any

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bandages anyway

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it only slowed her down enough for Manic

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to escape her grasp for a moment

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while fleeing from the monster they

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heard the strange chant escape her lips

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was this a magic spell the mummy's curse

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they heard about

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oh no it was worse than they could have

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possibly imagined

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their entire bodies were enveloped in a

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light that glowed the same color as

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green beans

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as they got outside Manic slipped and

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fell in a pile of [ __ ]

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it seems like one of the archeologists

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took a huge [ __ ] dumb here

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Knuckles knew exactly what's going on

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but he didn't want to tell Manic it

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would scare him

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they were cursed by the mummy and bad

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luck will follow them for

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the rest of their lives they could not

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kept this to himself

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hoping that the slip and poop was only a

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mere coincidence

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the next day Manic was hot as [ __ ] so he

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went to get a drink

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of water from the flask that he brought

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with him on this trip

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however it was empty the water was not

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there

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as it fit magic leaf and ish 2.

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that was two times Manic experience bad

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luck and Knuckles knew the third will be

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his last

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that is the rule of the money's purse

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Knuckles tried to warn his friend

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but he wasn't having it Manic was

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packing his things to leave when out of

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nowhere he slipped in another pile of

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[ __ ]

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falling straight onto his pickaxe Manic

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Manic please get up oh God Knuckles yell

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but his words could not reach him he was

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dead

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hold the [ __ ] up what do you mean I'm

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dead you made me go out like a [ __ ]

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Manic this is my story you want one go

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make your own [ __ ]

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Knuckles knew what he had to do now he

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had to lift this money's curse

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all by himself otherwise he will suffer

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the same fate

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as the green man but how you might ask

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yourself

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how does one free themselves of this

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evil spell well that's a simple question

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[ __ ]

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you must climb the tallest pyramid in

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the whole world

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and find the richest sexiest pharaoh in

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the land

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Bartleby Montclair of Dresden he is the

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only one that Knuckles can rely on now

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it took the ignorant five days and six

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nights to reach the top

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and when he did he saw them the pharaoh

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Bartleby and his [ __ ]

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Sonic the Hedgehog Sonic just got done

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sucking his balls

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why are you here the beautiful man said

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with a voice so warm and soothing

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i have been cursed only you have the

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power to save me a great one

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i beg of you release me from the mummy's

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curse so that I don't die

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no I gotta say Knuckles this was your

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best story yet

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hey you agree to don't you I guess

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[Music]

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[Applause]

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[Music]

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[Applause]

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[Music]

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you