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[Music]

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thank you everyone for coming to our

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yearly Easter egg hunt competition this

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is a great turn out I see a lot of new

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faces I will explain the rules but first

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I would like to make a speech in honor

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of my son my own boy but he died last

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week so you couldn't make it

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it's saddens me but the church was kind

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enough to honor him with this event

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before I talk more about that we have

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something even more important this

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year's a special guest the one the only

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barbilla be Montclair of Dresden

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everybody give it up for the blond man

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himself and don't forget about this book

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Stu

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[Applause]

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never before have I've been happier

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knowing that Bartleby Moncler took time

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out of his busy schedule to be here if

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my son were alive he would he would be

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so [ __ ] happy what can I say my [ __ ]

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and I were in the neighborhood and we

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figured why the [ __ ] not

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we still have 30 minutes for our date at

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Long John Silver's that's right and

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wherever he goes I go did you just talk

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out of line only when I say so Beach

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[Music]

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dumb mister bartylla B we are getting

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ready to start the ceremony for my son I

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wouldn't forget to do the honors of

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starting us off would you please be so

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kind No

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last week my son was found dead in his

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bedroom with an Easter Egg shipped in

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his head that's how he died

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I didn't think he was gay so naturally I

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used toxic paint instead of nontox paint

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I still don't think he was gay because

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he used to be gay but I teared that when

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he was younger I took him to church each

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Sunday and put the fear of God in him

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with my belt item that [ __ ] go to

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hell and [ __ ] so you better not mess

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with me little boy or daddy's gonna

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spank you again those were my last words

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to him I miss him greatly I think he

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slipped and fell getting the Easter Egg

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stuck in his butt that would be better

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than being a [ __ ] but sudden wherever

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you are if you are gay then may God have

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mercy on your soul [ __ ] but enough

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about that now I wish to talk about the

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good stuff about him firstly he was

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really sexy and he

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are you kidding me my son just died and

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you're [ __ ] pooping all right which

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one of you was it who [ __ ] herself how

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how can you do this to me in my time of

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grief I'll [ __ ] kill you it was it

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was it you or was it you I didn't get up

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here just to be made a laughingstock all

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I wanted was a damn ceremony for my son

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[ __ ] [ __ ] dang Manic crapping

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yourself at a funeral ceremony you

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insane bro [ __ ] off I didn't do nothing

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Sonia Manic is that you Manic did you

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really fart at the ceremony wouldn't it

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be funny if you farted in my face huh

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huh

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we didn't expect to see you guys here

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are you having fun there's some fruit

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punch and cupcakes in the torch if you

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get hungry man you should fought in my

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face cause that would be funny haha

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that's so cool seeing Sonic on stage I

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didn't know he was so famous I would

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think you would be up there with him

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just one of the perks of being

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Bartleby's [ __ ] saving the planet

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Mobius is one thing but apparently it's

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got nothing on being Batman switch you

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said this six times already quit being

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so salty bro

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oh wow it still so early in the morning

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and I'm sweaty as hell the seat is

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simply unbearable come on let's go

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inside and get some sweet tea before the

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account starts you're right maybe I will

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cool off if I pour something cold on my

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huge tits

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haha you don't do that with sweet tea

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you drink it silly

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Mindy's Turks are always so extremely

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amusing how do you guys keep a straight

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face around her I see no one is going to

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come forward should I just start

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shooting into the crowd and surely that

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will make you talk sir I'm afraid I must

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ask you to give me the microphone

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why because nowhere in the Bible does it

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say you can't poop your pets nor does it

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say you can't fart at a ceremony so

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technically right now you are going

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against God so if I choose subtle I have

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the authority to kill you

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I would like to see you try I got a

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[ __ ] gun stashed away in my whitey

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tighties underwear gets okay I'll leave

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but first I want to ask you something

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how would your son feel if he saw you

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now you're right I never wanted to admit

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it but you're right that is true you

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have no one to blame but yourself it's

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no wonder your son was as much of a

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[ __ ] as you you're a failure is a

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daddy

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what the hell did you just say to me

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make fun of my son all you want but when

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you talk [ __ ] on me bill let me kill you

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oh God no Joshua my son I used my own

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bullet to recover yours into your other

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son killing him instantly it was an

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outcome I wanted to avoid but you left

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me with no other choice perhaps this way

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you have learned a valuable lesson now

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get off the stage we have an egg hunt

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today Jesus Christ I told you but as we

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shouldn't have stopped by Taco Bell

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before coming here daddy's got the

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[ __ ] shits oh [ __ ] here it comes

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again [ __ ]

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[Music]

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Sleet Dingo where the [ __ ] did you guys

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go we are standing right here dr.

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Robotnik just like you told us to

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oh very good I was afraid you had left

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the cause of the smell of my poop if

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that was the case I was going to kill

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you

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here and now hey dr. Robotnik smile for

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the camera

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Dingo put that damn thing away

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you know how much I hate having my

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picture taken I'm sorry dr. Robotnik

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it's just that you look so cute in that

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bunny costume I couldn't help a bit take

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a picture well I guess you can't keep

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your camera for now just don't let it

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distract you form your job [ __ ] this

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picture turned out [ __ ] sexy I'm

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putting this much straight into my

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scrapbook

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everyone look over there isn't that dr.

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Robotnik and his [ __ ] what on earth

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are they doing here at a church on

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Easter hey you're right Sonia that's

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definitely them they must be up to no

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good

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oh my goodness Mindy didn't you say dr.

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Robotnik is like Sonic the Hedgehog's

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eternal rival are we going to be okay

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[ __ ] did you stop to stop that car gum

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get back over here [ __ ] damn you Sonic

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the Hedgehog you bent my [ __ ] bunny

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ears now all the kids here are going to

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laugh at me don't try to play innocent

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Robotnik we know how you are you're pure

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evil yeah that's what's up cracker you

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sons of [ __ ] do you really think I

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would commit a crime on Easter Sunday a

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holiday to honor our Lord and Savior

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Jesus Christ even I have standards

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you're the monsters here you don't fool

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us Robotnik we know you're not a damn

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Christian what are you really after if

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you really must know me and my [ __ ]

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are simply volunteering here at this

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church we've given up the ways of evil

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and are trying to make amends what

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better way than to volunteer at an

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Easter egg hunt nothing gets my balls

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tingling more than seeing the smiling

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faces of cute little boys and girls it's

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not like we're secretly putting bonds in

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all the eggs thing face shut the [ __ ] up

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yet you better not cause me and my CIPS

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are gonna be watching you and we're

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going to go talk to the pastor of the

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church just to see if your story holds

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up if you are really volunteering like

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you say you are yeah [ __ ] go right

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ahead Sonic Underground I have nothing

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to hide

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I have no idea who the [ __ ] those three

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are but they're certainly not volunteers

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they just showed up and started hiding

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eggs with the rest of us they might be

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pedophiles but other than that they

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didn't look like bad people so I didn't

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really do anything for some reason I

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have a bad feeling if they're not

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volunteers what are they doing here why

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would they be hiding Easter eggs

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thank you so much for bringing me here

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for our date Trevor you you have no idea

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how happy I am I love you baby

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want to go have sex behind that Bush

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over there by the three year olds Cyrus

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how many times do I got to tell you to

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stop being such a [ __ ] in public if

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you keep saying stuff like that people

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are going to think we're dating but

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aren't we I just sucked your balls at

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the Hometown Buffet five minutes ago

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well yet but I don't want people to know

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about it

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Trevor what's with you why do we have to

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hide our love like Anakin Skywalker and

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Padme Amidala from Star Wars or Woody

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and Buzz from Toy Story Cyrus we've been

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through this the only reason I [ __ ] you

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is cause I take what I can get and right

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now you're the only one I can get hey

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Bradley do you think we could hold hands

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for a little bit and [ __ ] actually

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Trevor why don't you and I ever hold

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hand oh my God Cyrus don't you ever shut

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the [ __ ] up huh quick Cyrus we gotta

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hide get behind this [ __ ] bush I

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don't understand Trevor what do you see

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what do we have to hide from are you

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blind [ __ ] look Sonic and his sexy

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boyfriend Barth levy are right over

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there we can't let them see us but why I

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don't understand

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Sonic is one of my best friends are you

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are you really so embarrassed to be seen

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with me like this

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no Cyrus it's not like that oh yet then

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what is it [ __ ] it's it's just

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complicated okay I don't know I've never

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done this before

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wait shut up [ __ ] do you hear that it

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sounds like something ticking no I don't

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hear [ __ ]

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oh my God Trevor are you okay yeah I

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think I'm okay I just hit my head and my

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big buttt pretty hard Trevor are you sure

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you are okay let me go get an ice pack

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Trevor you're finally awake you've been

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out for like five hours what happened I

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don't know how to explain it Cyrus

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after I hit my head so many images just

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flashed through my brain like forgotten

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memories and [ __ ] but I don't have any

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idea of what they could mean come on

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Cyrus let's go get a corn dog so you can

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shove it up my ass

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wow I can't believe Bart levy is

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actually participating in the Easter egg

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hunt I thought he hated holidays created

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by poor people but it looks like he's

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actually having fun yet it makes me so

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happy seeing Bart let me have fun like

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00:13:56,410 --> 00:13:58,170
that I don't know what it is about

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Easter but Bart levy told me he loves it

270
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with all his heart

271
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haha Bart Libby can I ask you a few

272
00:14:04,930 --> 00:14:06,870
questions what is it like being the

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special guest here at the National

274
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Easter egg hunt Mr. Bart levy does it

275
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bother you being around so many poor

276
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people at this church Bart let me look

277
00:14:15,130 --> 00:14:17,280
over here can we get a photo for that on

278
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newspaper God damn pepper drazzey why

279
00:14:21,550 --> 00:14:22,829
can't you ever leave me the [ __ ] alone

280
00:14:22,839 --> 00:14:26,130
stop it stop taking pictures of me stop

281
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I said stop stop this is why I think

282
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being more famous than Elvis press stop

283
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treating me different just because I'm

284
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Origen and all of you I normal I normal

285
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okay I wipe my ass with million dollar

286
00:14:37,690 --> 00:14:39,630
bills just like the rest of you I'm not

287
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a [ __ ] monster who is only here for

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your entertainment

289
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Bart Libby wait come back

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[Music]

291
00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:59,710
I think I saw him run this way let's

292
00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:04,480
look over here ditches Mart levy my

293
00:15:04,490 --> 00:15:06,460
lover are you okay do you need me to

294
00:15:06,470 --> 00:15:12,990
comfort you shut the [ __ ] up [ __ ] [ __ ]

295
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do you want to know why I love Easter so

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much

297
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but we'll be what is that in your hand

298
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this daddy

299
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it's an Easter egg I found it on the

300
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ground right outside Applebee's

301
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isn't it wonderful it's so beautiful

302
00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:35,660
I've never seen anything like it before

303
00:15:35,670 --> 00:15:41,810
well it smells like [ __ ]

304
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[Music]

305
00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:57,579
daddy daddy look outside I think they're

306
00:15:57,589 --> 00:15:59,110
having an Easter egg hunt at the park

307
00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:26,140
can we go daddy please come back don't

308
00:16:26,150 --> 00:16:28,960
leave me daddy I'm only 7 months old I

309
00:16:28,970 --> 00:16:30,460
can barely walk

310
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[Music]

311
00:17:05,300 --> 00:17:07,660
hi your name is Bartoli right I

312
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recognize you from preschool

313
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my name is Sonic the Hedgehog yes that's

314
00:17:13,430 --> 00:17:13,840
right

315
00:17:13,850 --> 00:17:15,520
what are you doing out here in the rain

316
00:17:15,530 --> 00:17:27,010
all by yours but it started raining so I

317
00:17:27,020 --> 00:17:30,820
guess they canceled it okay do you want

318
00:17:30,830 --> 00:17:33,370
to walk home together my umbrella is big

319
00:17:33,380 --> 00:17:36,190
enough for both of us I would like that

320
00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:38,830
today has anyone ever told you that

321
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:48,310
you've got a big guy your big blue butt

322
00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:50,080
cheeks is something to be proud of I

323
00:17:50,090 --> 00:17:51,880
wouldn't mind making you my personal

324
00:17:51,890 --> 00:18:05,680
Beach Drive you home wait much the sexy

325
00:18:05,690 --> 00:18:08,620
baby from back then was you what are you

326
00:18:08,630 --> 00:18:12,580
talking about Bart levy

327
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no it's nothing Beach come let's go

328
00:18:16,580 --> 00:18:23,230
continue our Easter egg hunt

329
00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:25,600
give me back my egg I know you're the

330
00:18:25,610 --> 00:18:29,049
one that took it get off my back gun

331
00:18:29,059 --> 00:18:30,909
keep oops what would I even have to gain

332
00:18:30,919 --> 00:18:33,760
from stealin your worthless [ __ ] my

333
00:18:33,770 --> 00:18:36,460
pride I stole it from Knuckles fair and

334
00:18:36,470 --> 00:18:36,970
square

335
00:18:36,980 --> 00:18:39,940
give it back where I'm telling I'm not

336
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handing over anything gunky poops oh

337
00:18:42,279 --> 00:18:45,789
dude you want to play that game but I'll

338
00:18:45,799 --> 00:18:47,590
whoop your sexy [ __ ] ass into

339
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tomorrow fighting me with your clothes

340
00:18:49,970 --> 00:18:52,899
on you coward at least get naked like me

341
00:18:52,909 --> 00:18:55,240
so that it's fair don't you worry about

342
00:18:55,250 --> 00:19:06,419
that I wouldn't have it any other way

343
00:19:06,429 --> 00:19:09,010
Sonic Manic you to stop this

344
00:19:09,020 --> 00:19:11,440
roughhousing The Simpsons or we're going

345
00:19:11,450 --> 00:19:19,220
home

346
00:19:19,230 --> 00:19:31,120
[Music]

347
00:19:31,130 --> 00:19:33,370
the I don't think you're supposed to go

348
00:19:33,380 --> 00:19:40,050
and on your boobs

349
00:19:40,060 --> 00:19:56,360
[Music]

350
00:19:56,370 --> 00:19:59,270
what was that what just blew up on my

351
00:19:59,280 --> 00:19:59,720
ass

352
00:19:59,730 --> 00:20:01,730
I don't know but it looked like an

353
00:20:01,740 --> 00:20:03,890
easter egg but why would an easter egg

354
00:20:03,900 --> 00:20:14,110
blow the [ __ ] up

355
00:20:14,120 --> 00:20:14,890
[Music]

356
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[Applause]

357
00:20:16,850 --> 00:20:19,970
nothing gets my ball anymore that seeing

358
00:20:19,980 --> 00:20:22,310
smiling faces a cute little boys and

359
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:29,720
girls shut the [ __ ] up

360
00:20:29,730 --> 00:20:32,660
I have no idea but they're certainly not

361
00:20:32,670 --> 00:20:34,940
volunteers they just showed up and

362
00:20:34,950 --> 00:20:36,860
started hiding eggs with the rest of us

363
00:20:36,870 --> 00:20:39,350
they might be pedophiles but other than

364
00:20:39,360 --> 00:20:41,060
that they didn't look like they're

365
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people

366
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[Music]

367
00:21:08,620 --> 00:21:12,039
kit three drop the egg all of you drop

368
00:21:12,049 --> 00:21:13,890
the eggs

369
00:21:13,900 --> 00:21:17,130
here's an idea how about instead you

370
00:21:17,140 --> 00:21:27,669
suck my big fat ball

371
00:21:27,679 --> 00:21:31,039
Sonic we need to think fast at this rate

372
00:21:31,049 --> 00:21:35,590
all of the bombs will kill every body

373
00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:38,180
Sonic I think I know a way to get rid of

374
00:21:38,190 --> 00:21:39,340
the bombs

375
00:21:39,350 --> 00:21:42,049
Cyrus Trevor what are you guys doing

376
00:21:42,059 --> 00:21:42,409
here

377
00:21:42,419 --> 00:21:44,810
forget about that it's not important

378
00:21:44,820 --> 00:21:47,539
what is important however is that I was

379
00:21:47,549 --> 00:21:49,400
once an engineer for the resistance in

380
00:21:49,410 --> 00:21:51,770
the past so I dealt with these kinds of

381
00:21:51,780 --> 00:21:54,289
bombs all it would take is for a little

382
00:21:54,299 --> 00:21:55,640
bit to moisture and it will

383
00:21:55,650 --> 00:21:59,029
short-circuit to all of them if we had

384
00:21:59,039 --> 00:22:01,070
enough water we can by activate all of

385
00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:03,740
the bombs that way but there aren't any

386
00:22:03,750 --> 00:22:06,230
fire hydrants around there's no way we

387
00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:10,039
can get enough water here in time

388
00:22:10,049 --> 00:22:13,999
haha literally a funny one my bitch

389
00:22:14,009 --> 00:22:24,899
nobody said we have to use water what's

390
00:22:24,909 --> 00:22:27,539
he doing he's going to piss all over the

391
00:22:27,549 --> 00:22:30,680
bombs go Bart he'll be save us all

392
00:22:30,690 --> 00:22:40,260
[Music]

393
00:22:56,179 --> 00:22:58,820
that's strange why don't I hear the

394
00:22:58,830 --> 00:23:02,200
bombs going off anymore hey but Nick

395
00:23:02,210 --> 00:23:07,180
turned around run from my [ __ ] in peace

396
00:23:07,190 --> 00:23:08,389
curses

397
00:23:08,399 --> 00:23:11,000
my plans foiled again curse you Bart

398
00:23:11,010 --> 00:23:20,600
levy

399
00:23:20,610 --> 00:23:25,400
[Music]

400
00:23:25,410 --> 00:23:30,270
exaggerated does what you the story is

401
00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:44,670
over now I must come

402
00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:47,580
[Music]

403
00:23:47,590 --> 00:23:48,540
you

404
00:23:48,550 --> 00:23:54,660
[Music]