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[Music]

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I live from New York I'm sayin Asha

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welcome to the show want to begin

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without some breaking news out of Italy

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all of Italy is now on lockdown of Italy

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is now on lockdown

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over the coronavirus Italy's Prime

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Minister making the announcement a news

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conference just minutes ago he said the

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measure was taken in order to protect

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the population especially

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what's going to happen Bart levy will we

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be alright of course I will be alright

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but I'm the richest man on earth only

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poor people like you are going to die

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because here in America it costs too

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much money for the average person to get

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tested and protect themselves but don't

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worry rich as long as I'm here nothing

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bad will never happen to you so go to

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Sleet and dream of pleasant dreams

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knowing that you're safe big dream of

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pleasant dreams

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pleasant dreams yet I do that Bart levy

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[Music]

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man Sonic you were going so fast you

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even rammed right into my ass a few

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times for a minute there I thought you

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were trying to rape me

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instead of win the race hey what can I

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say I need to give it my all if I'm

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going to win the big race tomorrow

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man I'm so sweaty especially round my

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butt cheeks it's a shame that cars don't

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have hands so I can't wipe all the sweat

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off yet we really worked up quite the

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sweat I'll get that for you Sonic

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[Applause]

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oh yeah that's the stuff so Lightning

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McQueen wanna head back to my place

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my boyfriend Bart levy just bought an

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entire Chinese restaurant for dinner

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damn a whole restaurant well I guess

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that's nothing for the richest car in

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Radiator Springs I would love to join

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you lovebirds but I'm going to stay here

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and practice a bit more

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you got it lightning maybe some other

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time then see you later

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I gotta go poop and hey turn that frown

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upside down some day you'll beat me in a

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race

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you

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[Applause]

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I can't wait for the big race tomorrow

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Sonya do you think your brother Sonic

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will really win I'm absolutely sure

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Sonic is going to win the race

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Sonic has been training with Knuckles

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all week long every time I go to

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Knuckles house to check up on them Sonic

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looks tired as [ __ ] either Sonic and

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Knuckles are secretly having car sex or

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they have been training for this all

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year

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Sonic has got this race in the bag [ __ ]

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s that lightning Nick [ __ ] doesn't

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stand a chance

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guys look

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Sonic is pulling up in the driveway

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let's go meet him

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[Applause]

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guys I got terrible news it's about it's

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about Lightning McQueen I just got word

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that Lightning McQueen got the

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coronavirus his boyfriend mater told me

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over the radio

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oh my God that's horrible how did he get

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it

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I'm telling you mate or she's a cyclops

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and she's gay she pulls over the main

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characters on the side of the road and

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tells them she has a girlfriend it's the

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most progressive [ __ ] I've ever seen

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that's not too progressive Lightning

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Disney is a company who only acts left

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they care about the LGBT community for

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the sake of financial gain they don't

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give a [ __ ] about people like you and me

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what's with you mate or why have you

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become such a downer lately you you've

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changed

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you're no longer that sexy tow truck

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that I let bang my ass every hour of

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every day what happened to you babe

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what happened between us I'll tell you

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what happened lightning I I got the

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corona virus I'm going to dock tomorrow

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no you're lying

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we just had car sex and you didn't even

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tell me yeah that's right and because I

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just stubbed my toe in cable up your

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disgusting smelly ass you have a to

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[ __ ]

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you