(wind)
(wind, water sounds)
(wind, water sounds, radiation meter clicking, scrubbing)
(wind, scrubbing)
(wind, water sounds)
(wind, water sounds, radiation meter clicking)
The Storyteller: You haven’t read Littlepip’s book yet?
Spike/Watcher: (sigh) I’ve been busy looking for the ponies who represent the elements of harmony.
I haven’t had time.
I’ve been waiting for the audiobook version.
The Storyteller: There are three.
One by the New Canterlot Republic,
another by somepony in the Hoof,
and I met one enterprising young stallion making one in the old Applewood Studios.
Found some old equipment in one of the recording studios, pleasant pony.
Spike/Watcher: Well...nothing official.
The Storyteller: “Lightbringer approved?”
Spike/Watcher: It is her life story.
The Storyteller: Discrediting their work? That’s not like you Spike.
Spike/Watcher: (sigh) That’s not what I meant.
Anyway, what information do you have on the Ministry of Awesome?
The Storyteller: Right, right, that is where the conversation started.
Do you remember where the Ministry got its name?
I know you were close to the Ministry Mares.
Spike/Watcher: Yeah. When the idea of the ministries was brought to Twilight and her friends feelings were... mixed.
Pinkie immediately opted for the Ministry of Parties,
but was told that wasn't the best use of a government office.
So she made the Ministry of Morale,
which did plan an awful lot of parties.
Along with Pinkie, Rainbow was also on board.
She wanted to have the awesomest ministry ever that would only do awesome things.
So she created the Ministry of Awesome, beating even Pinkie to the buck.
To be honest, the Ministry of Parties was probably a better idea.
The Storyteller: Yes, the public opinion of the Ministry of Awesome was that of a joke.
As far as anypony knew, Rainbow Dash didn’t lift a hoof to help her Ministry,
and chose to spend all her time with the successor to the Wonderbolts.
The Shadowbolts were effective, but not enough to save their leader’s Ministry from public ridicule.
Spike/Watcher: And the ministry was closed down. All the hubs were converted to storage, right?
The Storyteller: That is just what they wanted the public to think.
It is true most ground side hubs were closed,
but two remained in full operation:
The Hoofington Hub and the Cloudsdale hub.
The Cloudsdale hub, The former Wonderbolts Academy, was primarily a Shadowbolt recruitment center.
It tried to keep the pegasi involved with the war effort...
something that was growing increasingly difficult as the war dragged on
due to factional disputes with civilian Pegasus leadership.
The Hoofington hub, Shadowbolt Tower, became Shadowbolt command.
The center of all intel in equestria.
From what I’ve discovered the Ministry of Awesome’s surveillance network was a rival to the Ministry of Morales in scope,
if not in detail.
Where the Ministry of Morale focused inward, the Ministry of Awesome looked to foreign affairs.
They were sneaky about it too.
Before the world ended, they were rivalling the Ministry of Image for the title of most subtle wartime asset.
Spike/Watcher: Not basking in paise?
That doesn’t sound like Rainbow Dash.
I did hear rumors about stuff like that though...never thought they were true.
The Storyteller: The public perception was accurate in that regard.
Rainbow Dash did not run her ministry.
Who was in charge of the Ministry itself is lost to history underneath a mountain of burnt files and redaction marker.
The best guess I have is a mare named Lightning Dust,
an ex-Wonderbolt with a sketchy history.
I’ve found reference to other Ministry Secretaries,
their title to soothe Rainbow Dash’s ego,
so it is possible that they had a rotating leadership more akin to a pre-apocalypse corporation.
That’s not to say that Rainbow Dash’s rare instances of leadership did not bear fruit.
Most of her projects, such as the Pegasus Power Armor, were collaborations with other Ministries.
They were also responsible for many of the leaks and assassinations in the Zebra ranks during the war.
She and Pinkie Pie even placed their long time friend into the hooves of Zebra insurgents as a double agent gambit.
Almost nopony knew about it beyond Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash,
as her target was the Caesar himself.
Spike/Watcher: Her name was Zecora.
I do know about parts of that, though only after the fact while talking with Littlepip.
It didn’t end well for her.
She was killed by a stallion named Applesnack, though you probably know him better as Steelhooves.
He found her breaking into a Ministry of Wartime Technology facility, and...killed her.
From what Littlepip said, he took her betrayal...personally.
It was one of the tipping points in his relationship with Applejack.
The Storyteller: I’m...sorry.
If I remember right, you were close to everyone involved in that.
Spike/Watcher: Its fine. It was over two centuries ago, I’ve had time to come to terms with it.
Continue.
The other major project the Ministry of Awesome was involved with,
and their only project without the aid of another Ministry,
was the Single Pegasus Project.
Or as it would be renamed by the Enclave: The Sustainable Pegasi Project.
Spike/Watcher: The ability of one pony, of any race, to control the weather all over Equestria
through the use of those white towers spread across the landscape.
I remember, they were the target of our raid against the Enclave during the Battle of Fillydelphia.
I lost my eye doing that.
The Storyteller: Technically it was a combined project, though only in the loosest of terms.
he Ministry of Awesome utilized surveillance equipment from the Ministry of Morale,
a broadcast and communication system from the Ministry of Arcane Science,
and public funding gathered by the Ministry of Image.
The Weather Control System itself was designed in house,
supplemented by poaching researchers from the Ministry of Arcane Science and Ministry of Wartime Technology.
The design for the towers themselves was done by Applebloom of Stable-Tec,
owing their continued resilience without maintenance for two hundred years
to Stable-Tec’s habitual over engineering.
Almost all of the work was done in house however,
purchasing or “acquiring” the required materials from the other Ministries.
The project was mostly completed,
about 85% of the towers were installed, before the megaspells fell.
The system itself was never brought operational before the apocalypse,
despite Princess Celestia’s best efforts.
The Grand Pegasus Enclave repurposed what they could access to keep the skies blocked off,
and to enchant the clouds to be able to sustain agriculture.
They called it the Sustainable Pegasi Project.
It was the foundation of the Grand Pegasus Enclave’s power over their civilian population,
and guarded jealously with as much as they could pack into its airspace.
I believe you personally brought down a Thunderhead and four Raptors during that engagement.
Spike/Watcher: “Dragon Killer.” Yeah, “Dragon Killers.” I always did hate the name.
Cost my right eye, but it was worth it.
Now the SPP hub in Neighvaro controls the entire network, behind its barrier.
The Storyteller: Controlled by none other than the Lightbringer herself.
he very mare whom you haven't read the life story of.
Spike/Watcher: Really? We’re back to this again? You know I was there for all of it...
watching?
The Storyteller: Yes, and I’m still surprised you’ve been able to pass up her book.
You, of all dragons.
That’s everything concrete I have on the Ministry of Awesome.
I was able to find a few references to something called Project: Steelpony,
but with its destruction most of the documents were destroyed.
Spike/Watcher: Talk with Triage at Hoofington University.
I think they use that project to make augmentations.
The Storyteller: If I ever make it out to The Hoof again, I will.
Actually, I do have something else on the Ministry of Awesome.
They worked on a small collection of Megaspell frameworks,
outside of the Ministry of Arcane Science’s vault.
Spike/Watcher: Wait, Awesome made weaponized megaspells?
I thought that was the Ministry of Arcane Sciences’s jurisdiction?
The Storyteller: It was.
They didn’t create them, but they were the reigning experts on arcane apocalyptic annihilation.
But that, is a story for another day.
Spike/Watcher: Good timing, I’ve got to go. Something just came up.
The Storyteller: And you do still owe me your own story.
It would be nice to add to my notes.
(static)
(Polka music fading away)
The Storyteller: Darn it. So that’s how that feels.